Cyrano de O'Neill
by ziva2012
Summary: Jack O'Neill is a man of action, but few words. As a shipper I have been frustrated by his inability to tell Sam how he really feels about her. So I decided to give him a little help. Again, this one is from my 2007 archives.
1. Chapter 1

"Cirano de O'Neill" by Ziva

General Jack O'Neill had a problem, and for once in his life his military training was not going to help him solve it. The problem was that he was head-over-heels in love with the woman who had been his second-in-command for over eight years. But now that he was no longer her commanding officer, and was allowed to have a relationship with her, he found himself full of fears...fear of being too old, too stupid and just plain too late.

It was a known fact that Sam Carter was trying to move on; she had a new assignment now, working at Area 51, and it was rumored that she was seeing a civilian scientist who also worked there. So even though Jack had intended to try and see if what she felt for him all those years was for real or just a case of wishful thinking on his part, he had put off phoning Sam and asking her out. His ego just couldn't stand the thought of Sam rejecting him!

It was true that he was now living in Washington, D.C., but long distance relationships were not impossible to maintain, or so he had heard. He really had very little experience in these matters, having been married to the same woman for over fifteen years. They had divorced right after he first met Sam, although the divorce certainly had nothing to do with his feelings for Sam. And in the past eight years, there had been no one else in his life but Sam, even though his relationship with her was purely within regulations.

They had both maintained a distance that had left him wishing for more, but now that they could have more, what had happened to that wishful thinking? Jack wasn't sure about how Sam felt him, but he was certain he still had it bad for her!

Jack had gotten a phone call earlier that day from their old friend and fellow teammate, Dr. Daniel Jackson, who was in D.C. for a few days while attending a conference on ancient languages. They had agreed to meet for dinner, and it was during that dinner that Jack admitted how much he missed his old friends, particularly Samantha Carter.

"So how's the old gang," Jack asked, hoping the subject of Sam would come up, even though he knew that Daniel had been working on a dig in upper Egypt for the past three months.

Like Jack and the rest of SG-1, Daniel's life had taken a different direction since Jack had taken the job in D.C. Even the big Jaffa had left the SGC; Teal'c was on Chulak much of the time, trying to form a strong Jaffa army.

"I haven't heard from Teal'c in several months, but General Landry told me that he seems to be doing okay. Ishta is pregnant, so I'm sure he's happy about that," Daniel said, smiling till his eyes were mere slits.

"Pregnant! Wow! So Teal'c's gonna be a father again," Jack mused, thinking about his dead son and how his own life had changed dramatically the day that Charlie had accidentally shot himself.

Not everything that had happened in his life since then had been bad; getting to know Sam, Daniel and Teal'c had definitely been a good thing. If only he hadn't taken this promotion that sent him to D.C., he told himself, wishing for the billionth time that Hammond and the President had never asked him to take the new assignment.

"Yeah, and Rya'c and Kar'yn are expecting too! So Teal'c is going to be a father and a grandfather at almost the same time!"

"The guy must be really happy with his life. Wish I could say the same thing about mine," Jack confided, leaving an opening for Daniel that he knew the man wouldn't be able to resist.

"So you're not happy with your new job? Not happy with living in Washington, or both?"

"Mostly not happy with...well, hell Daniel...I may as well tell you...I miss Sam! You must know how I feel about her...have felt about her for years, right?"

"You never really did a very good job of hiding it, Jack. So what happened? I mean you two are no longer in the same chain of command, so why haven't you gotten together?"

"It's me, Daniel; I'm a coward."

Well, Daniel had heard a lot of surprising remarks come out of Jack O'Neill's mouth over the years, but he certainly had never heard that one before!

"A coward! Well, that certainly is not something I'd call you. So why are you being a coward, Jack?"

"Because, Daniel, Sam is...she's much younger than me, and she's gorgeous. She could have any guy she wants, so why would she want an old flyboy like me? Plus she's way smarter than me...yes, I freely admit that I never understood even half of what she said to me all those years. And she's seeing someone, or so I heard."

"Seeing as in just dating, or seeing as in seriously involved with?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't see what difference it makes, Daniel; I'm in D.C. and he's there at Nellis with her. So what real chance do I have," Jack asked, his expression growing sullen.

Daniel hadn't seen Jack O'Neill this down since...well, since he'd first met him, and that was right after Charlie had killed himself with Jack's gun.

"I think you shouldn't jump to conclusions, and the fact that you live kind of far apart does not mean that you and Sam can't have a relationship. You just have to try, Jack," Daniel insisted. "Have you even phoned her?"

Jack shook his head. "I wouldn't know what to say. Now that we don't have missions to discuss, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to think of anything to say to her," Jack admitted.

"Why don't you cut to the chase and tell her you miss her? Why not just come out and tell her how you feel?"

"I don't think I could stand to hear her voice when she rejects me. She'd probably laugh and tell me she's too busy to miss me, what with her new boyfriend and all those doohickeys to take apart." Jack laughed, but his face didn't look like he was joking.

"Maybe it would be easier to tell her how you feel in an e-mail. I mean that way you wouldn't have to hear her voice IF she should reject you, which I'm not at all certain she would."

"I still wouldn't know what to say to her, Daniel. I just don't have the right words! I'm crude when it comes to expressing what I want from a woman. But I'm smart enough to know that Sam deserves more than me saying, 'I've had the hots for you for years, baby, and I want to screw your brains out,'" Jack told him, and Daniel blushed slightly, his eyeglasses slipping down his nose.

He pushed them back up his nose, as he laughed at Jack's earthy statement. It was so typically Jack, but he was fairly certain it was not what Sam wanted to hear from a man. He could see why Jack was worried about offending Samantha Carter, so he offered Jack a solution.

"I could compose a message for you...something a little less...visual...maybe throw in some poetry. You know how women love poetry, Jack," Daniel assured him, and Jack raised his left eyebrow as he realized that Daniel's idea just might have some merit.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course! What are friends for? We can work on the first message right now, and you can send it tonight."

Now that Daniel thought about it, they had never really been that close, but maybe it wasn't too late for their friendship to blossom either, he decided, beginning to compose the first message in his head.

"Great! So where do we start?"

"Well, I think the first thing you really need to do is apologize for not contacting her sooner."

Two hours later the two men sat at the round dining table in Matteo's Bar and Grill in west Washington, D.C. Several napkins were strewn across the table top, which had been cleared of all dishes. Only their drink glasses remained. Jack had been tossing down boiler makers for the past hour, and by now he was feeling pretty mellow.

"So, let's hear it again, Danny boy," he encouraged the younger man, who had already read the message to him a dozen times.

"Dear Sam,

I know it's been a long time since you've heard from me, and I want to apologize for not writing you sooner. While I could say that I've been busy or pressed for time, no amount of excuses would be sufficient to justify my lack of respect for our friendship...a friendship which I had hoped would blossom into something much more.

All I can do is ask for your forgiveness in hopes that it is not too late to make amends. Although you may find this hard to believe, I have missed you more than words can say. Not a day goes by that I don't imagine your lovely smiling face, the site of which was a highlight of my day for over eight years.

If you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my neglect, please know that I would be forever grateful.

Yours sincerely,

Jack"

Jack sat silently for a couple of minutes after Daniel finished reading the composition. Daniel could see that he was mulling over something in the letter...probably something he didn't feel comfortable saying.

"Do I really need to include that blossoming part?"

"Yes, I think you may as well get to the point, without hitting her in the head with it or shocking her with visions of the two of you doing the _big nasty_. She has a right to know that it's more than friendship that you want, Jack. I mean why wait? This way if there's no chance, then she'll tell you straight away," Daniel insisted.

"Okay. I'll send it tonight," Jack promised.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Even though Jack still had his doubts about the _friendship blossoming into more _part of the letter Daniel had written on his behalf, Jack sent the message via e-mail later that same night.

Sam was surfing the net when she heard the familiar chime indicating she had mail. She clicked on the mail icon and went to her in box, where she stared long and hard at the return address, an address she recognized but never expected to see in her box!

"JumpinJack ," she said aloud to her bedroom walls, as she sat on her bed, her laptop sitting atop her thighs. "Well, this is a surprise! I wonder what you've got to say to me after all this time?"

A part of her was afraid to open the message, but the other part...the part that missed Jack O'Neill more than she could have thought possible...demanded to know what he had to say.

So Sam opened the message and read it. Then she read it again, her forehead wrinkling in thought. It wasn't that the message wasn't nice, or that it didn't say exactly what she was hoping to hear, it was more that the words just didn't sound like something Jack would write! Was it possible that she had never really known the real Jack O'Neill?

Sam thought and thought about how to answer him. Should she say she felt he owed her an apology and thank him for sending one? Should she respond to his remark about what he hoped for their friendship? He certainly sounded sincere, but how interested could he be when this was the first time she had heard from him in three months?

So instead of writing a reply right away, Sam closed her laptop and set it aside, hoping for some clarity in the morning. But try as she might, there was to be no sleep for her...not until she answered Jack's e-mail, and probably not even after that!

Opening her laptop again, she pushed the power button and waited for it to boot up. It always seemed to take forever when she was nervous or in a hurry, and that's exactly what it seemed like now! Finally she opened the Outlook Express program and read Jack's message again, just to make sure she hadn't imagined the message or the intent of his words.

Nope! She was certain that line about blossoming meant exactly what she thought it meant; Jack wanted to be more than just friends with her. Well, that was certainly a surprise! Why was he saying this now...after all these months?

With nervous fingers she began to type her reply, changing and re-wording each sentence, until...forty-five minutes later...she had a message ready to send to him. She clicked the word 'send' and breathed a big sigh of relief.

"Well, the balls in your court now, Jack. Let's see what you do with it," she said aloud, biting her lip as she waited for a reply. She decided to turn on the television, figuring that there was really no way she could sleep now. She'd give him an hour, and if he didn't respond by then, she'd try to get to sleep.

"Oh, shit! It's already three in the morning in Washington, D.C.," she swore, realizing that Jack had probably gone to bed right after sending his message.

He hadn't even tried to go to sleep after sending his message, so Jack had been awake when Sam's message arrived. He read it, and then he read it again, not sure how to take what she had said.

Did she sound angry? She said their friendship was "alive and well", but did she mean it? And what did she mean by, "I think that says a lot, don't you?" A lot about what? Did she think he really didn't care about her or he wouldn't have accepted the job?

Jack read Sam's letter again.

"Dear Jack,

I was very surprised to hear from you after all these weeks. Yes, I did hope to hear from you sooner, but then I could have written to you as well and I didn't. I too have been remiss as a friend for not writing to see how you're doing.

As for our friendship, know that it is alive and well. I forgive you, if you can forgive me? I always thought there could be more between us than mere friendship, but then you accepted the job in D.C. I think that says a lot, don't you?

I too may have a job-related decision to make soon. I guess I have you to thank for the fact that I will be heading back to Colorado Springs in a few days to help General Landry and SG-1 with a special project. He told me that you recommended me for the job, so thanks for that.

Sincerely,

Sam Carter"

No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't make sense of it! Was she angry or wasn't she? Did she want him to pursue her, or didn't she? And what was with the cryptic remark she made about thanking him that he had recommended her to General Landry? Was she really thanking him or was she being sarcastic?

God, this e-mailing stuff was hard! He really needed the opinion of an expert, so he decided to phone Daniel.

After the second ring, Jack remembered what time it was and was about to hang up. But suddenly Jack heard a groggy Daniel Jackson on the other end of the line.

"Hello."

"Hey, Daniel! Sorry to wake you up, but I've got a problem!"

"Jack, it's three-thirty in the morning," Daniel told him, his head falling back to the pillow, the phone cradled to his ear.

"I know that Daniel, and I'm sorry if I woke you, but...I got a reply from Sam!"

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"That's just it; I'm not sure if it's good or not! Maybe if I read it to you, you can tell me if she's mad at me or what. Here goes..."

Jack read Sam's message and waited. And he waited. Suddenly he heard the distinct sounds of snoring.

"Daniel! Daniel, for Christ's sake wake up!"

Daniel's head jerked up at the sound of Jack's loud voice in his left ear.

"I'm awake. I'm awake. Now what were you saying," he asked, sitting up with his head leaning back against the headboard of his hotel bed.

"I'll read it again. Now this time pay attention!" Jack read Sam's message again.

"Well? What do you think? Is she mad at me? Was she being sarcastic when she thanked me for recommending her to Landry? Does she still want a relationship with me?"

"Yes, I think she's still a little mad at you. She doesn't understand why...if you wanted a relationship with her...you took the job in D.C. She says she always thought there could be more between you than just friendship. She doesn't say that she has changed her mind about that, just that she thought YOU had changed YOUR mind."

"So I think she has her doubts as to whether or not you really know what you want. And quite frankly Jack, I have to agree with her! You kept silent for months, and now all of a sudden you show some interest in her. Don't expect her to just fall into your arms, Jack."

"She's trying to protect herself from disappointment. You left her once. How is she supposed to know you won't do it again? As for the General Landry thing, I think she was being sincere."

"I see. So mostly she's pissed at me."

"Pretty much," Daniel told him. "Good night, Jack."

"Wait! What do I say back to her? I mean I can't just stop now! What do I say, Daniel?"

"Jack, I'm going back to sleep now. I'll phone you in the morning, and we can discuss this over breakfast. Good night!"

"Good night, Daniel."

Jack turned off his computer and went to bed, but he didn't fall asleep for almost two hours.

Sam also lay awake for several more hours, but by four in the morning she finally fell into a restless sleep...one filled with dreams of Jack O'Neill.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The tall, lean silver-haired man got off his bike and chained it to the bike rack outside the Westin Hotel. The hotel dining room was already full of people, and it was only seven am.

Jack stood in the doorway, bike helmet in hand as he searched the big room for his friend. He finally spotted Daniel at a small table by the window that faced the street. He was sipping his coffee, and Jack thought he didn't look very happy to be there.

"Hey, Danny! Thanks for meeting me so early," he began and Daniel just looked at him over the steaming cup.

Jack poured himself a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table and decided to allow his friend time for the caffeine to kick in, before beginning the conversation about Sam's message.

Finally, after what seemed like forever to Jack, Daniel put his cup down in the saucer and spoke.

"Jack, I don't think this is such a good idea."

"What? Us having breakfast together?"

"No, Jack. Me writing messages to Sam for you," he said, a frown on his tired face. He poured more coffee into his cup and lifted it to his lips.

"Why, Daniel? I'd do the same for you...well, if you had two broken hands or something," Jack told him, and Daniel smiled into his cup as he took another drink.

"I'm sure you would, Jack, but this is not the same thing. You think you're in love with this woman, and..."

"And what, Daniel?" Jack looked really confused, which was nothing new for him.

"And I feel like...I don't want to lie to her. She's my friend, too, you know! How's she gonna feel when she finds out I pretended to be you!"

"She won't find out...or if she does...she will realize that you were just trying to help," Jack insisted.

Daniel shook his head and sighed. He could tell that Jack was not going to leave him alone until he helped him once again.

"Daniel, please! I don't know what to say to her! Can you please help me?"

"Okay. I assume you brought a copy of her message?"

"Yes, here it is," he said, unfolding the paper he had taken from the back pocket of his sweat pants. Jack unzipped the matching jacket to reveal a Minnesota Timberwolves T-shirt underneath.

Daniel scanned the message from Sam and put the paper down on the table. Then he took an ink pen out of his pocket and began to write on the bottom of the sheet of paper.

"Firstly, I think you're going to have to be more firm in your approach...make her believe that you are sincerely sorry you haven't contacted her before this. You have to tell her why you haven't, Jack, and the only thing that will do is the truth! Tell her you were afraid of disappointing her...of failing her in some way...that you were afraid the real you could never live up to the expectations she had."

"Nah, I can't say that, Daniel. I don't even know if she HAD any expectations about me!"

"Okay, then scratch that part and just go with disappointing her stuff. But you have to make her understand why you accepted the job here in D.C...that it wasn't because you didn't care about her. It was quite an honor to be asked by the President, so I'm sure Sam will understand that you couldn't just turn it down."

"Yeah, okay. Then what?"

"Then...let's see... You really need to confront her face to face...give yourself a chance to show her how much you care."

"She'll be in Colorado Springs the day after tomorrow, and so will I. Hammond has asked for my help too. Why don't you come with me? We'll all get together and have some laughs. We can talk about old times, and that will help you break the ice. Then I'll make some excuse and leave the two of you alone."

"I'm not sure I can get away that soon..." Jack began, the old feelings of self-doubt messing with his mind and stomping on his courage.

But upon seeing Daniel's discouraged expression, Jack forced himself to face his fears.

"I'll change my schedule so I can go with you. I promise, Daniel!"

"You had better, Jack, or this is the last favor I will ever do for you!"

Jack went back to his townhouse and opened his laptop, which was still on his bedside table. Then he opened his e-mail program and typed the message that Daniel had written for him.

"Dear Sam,

I know you are still angry at me, and you have a right to be. I should have written or phoned much sooner than this. My only real excuse is that I was afraid of rejection, of not being good enough to deserve someone as wonderful as you.

As for my job, you must know that it was quite an honor to be asked by the President and the Joint Chiefs. But even so, I hated leaving you, particularly when my staying in Colorado would have meant a chance for us to see where our relationship was headed.

Again, I think I took the coward's way out; using the job as an excuse to avoid any possible rejection by you. You may think I've put you on a pedestal (and that would be correct), but I have to say that you are everything in a woman that I, or any man, could ever want! Thera with a P-90 is how I will always think of you, my dear Samantha!

Please forgive me and tell me that I still have a chance to win your heart?

I will be arriving in Colorado Springs on Saturday. I hope to see you at the SGC. I think we should talk.

Yours truly,

Jack"

Jack had almost changed his mind when he read the part about him having Sam on a pedestal...not that it wasn't true. He just never would have said it in those words. He would probably have said something like, "You're as good a soldier as any guy I know, and you also have a mighty fine rack and a really sweet ass!"

No, he decided with finality, he was not going to chicken out now! If Daniel thought this was the kind of flowery, sissyfied language that Carter wanted to hear, then this is what she would get!

Jack clicked on 'send' and went into the bathroom to shave, realizing that it was still very early in Nevada and Sam might not read her messages till she got to work.

He was just toweling his face dry, when he heard the familiar pinging of his computer. He had mail! So maybe she was up early checking her e-mail, because she was impatiently waiting for his reply. Now that was an idea that Jack liked the sound of!

And sure enough, there was a reply from doohickeyqueen ! He sat down on his bed and opened the e-mail.

"Dear Jack,

I have to say that I am more than a little surprised by your last message!

I find it hard to believe that there's anything that scares Jack O'Neill. But if you say you were afraid of rejection, then I must believe you. For if there's one thing I have learned in the past eight years, it is that you are a man who does not lie.

Let me assure you that you need not be afraid of disappointing me. And although your manner of speaking in these messages has surprised me somewhat, I still feel that I know you well enough to say that I am certain you are everything I want in a man and more.

I am looking forward to seeing you at the SGC and hopefully elsewhere?

Yours,

Sam"

At first Jack cringed when he read the part about his not telling lies. What would she think when she found out that he did not write these messages? Then he re-read the last two sentences and threw his fist into the air in a sign of triumph.

"YES!" She said he was everything she wanted in a man and more, AND she wanted to see him someplace else besides the SGC! That could only mean one thing; she wanted to see him somewhere where they could be alone!

As Jack got ready to go to the office, he whistled a little tune...the theme song from some show he had watched late last night on television. What was it called? Oh, yeah, MacGyver. By the time he was dressed in his uniform, and had his cap under his arm, he heard the doorbell.

That would be the driver who was assigned to pick him up each morning and take him home each night. Jack grabbed his trench coat and rushed out the door, thinking how much he missed his truck and his mountain cabin in Minnesota. He didn't know when he'd see his cabin again, but he intended to take his truck out this weekend. And during the fifteen minute ride to his office, Jack began planning exactly where he would take Sam.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

AN: If you want to see what I've been up to lately, please go to my website stargateforever .com.  
And now, on with the story.

The next forty-eight hours went by very quickly, and before he knew it Jack was on a plane sitting next to Daniel Jackson. They were on their way home...back to the SGC. And although for Jack is was only for a visit, he was very glad to be going there!

"So everything is okay between you and Sam?"

"Yes, Daniel, it's great...thanks to you," Jack told him, beaming.

"I think you give me too much credit, Jack. After all, it's you she loves, not me," he said, sipping his third cup of really strong, airline coffee.

Jack sometimes wondered why Daniel didn't just hook an iv up to his arm and pump the caffeine directly into his veins. But instead of telling Daniel what he was thinking, Jack just leaned his head back and tried to not think about how uncomfortable he was with his knees smashed against the seat in front of him.

They were sitting in the coach compartment of a commercial flight from Washington, D.C. to Denver, CO. So this leg of their trip was cramped and very uncomfortable, specially for Jack's six-foot-two-inch body.

From Denver they would hop a ride on an Air Force chopper that was heading directly to Cheyenne Mountain with a load of requistioned medical supplies for the SGC. Jack had called in a favor from an old friend named Feretti who was accompanying the supplies for his new boss, General Landry. Feretti and O'Neill had been buddies since they served in the Gulf War, and they had also served at the SGC for eight years together.

Jack thought it would be good to see some of his old pals again, even if it was just for a few minutes. He really missed being out in the field, and every day he realized more and more that flying a desk just did not suit his temperament. In fact, he was beginning to think that retiring was really what he should do. At least if he was retired he'd be able to go up to his cabin!

So the more he thought about it, the more determined he was to speak to the President about retiring when he got back to D.C. And if things went the way he hoped they would, maybe Sam would be going up to his cabin with him!

"I'm gonna retire," Jack announced suddenly, and Daniel turned his head and stared at the man as though he had grown two heads.

"You just took a new assignment, Jack. I doubt that the President is going to be very happy if you suddenly quit."

"I could give a rat's ass," Jack said in his own disrespectful way. "I've given more than half my life to the Air Force in the service of my country, Daniel. I think it's about time I did something just for myself," Jack stated with a determined look on his face.

"I'm not saying I don't agree with you, but will the President and the Joint Chiefs let you out of this appointment so easily? Is there someone qualified to replace you?"

"Oh, I'm sure they can find some sycophantic ass kisser to fill my position, Daniel. After all, I never was cut out for this job anyway. And quite frankly I don't know why they thought I was," Jack admitted.

"Does your decision have anything to do with Sam's response to your e-mails?"

"Yes, I guess it does! Until now, I didn't really think I had a chance with her! And now...well, thanks to you, I really think I do!"

"Oh, no, I still say I had nothing to do with it. It was you she wanted, no matter who wrote those messages, Jack," Daniel insisted.

"You can say that, but we both know better, my friend," Jack assured him.

Three hours and twenty minutes later, Jack and Daniel walked from the helipad on Cheyenne Mountain to the elevator inside the surface level parking garage. And five minutes later they were checking in at the security check point in the SGC.

General Landry was there to meet Daniel Jackson, and he was pleasantly surprised to see General Jack O'Neill accompanying him.

"General! This is a nice surprise," Landry told him.

"Thanks, Hank, it's good to be back, even if it's only for a short visit," Jack told him.

"So to what do we owe this visit, Jack?"

"Actually, I'm here to visit some old friends."

General Landry indicated that they should follow him down the hallway.

"One of those old friends wouldn't be Lt. Col. Samantha Carter, by any chance?"

"Yes, actually I would like to see her. Is she here yet?"

"Jack!" The three men turned at the sound of Sam's voice. She was just getting off the elevator, having just come from her old lab.

"I'll leave you three to visit for a while. Dr Jackson, you will have your old room while you're here. I'll see both you and Col. Carter on Monday morning at zero six hundred hours," Landry told them, before strolling off down the hall.

"So...why don't you walk me to my quarters, and then we'll go get some dinner...on me," Daniel offered.

"On you? Wow! Well, Sam, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna take Daniel up on that offer," Jack said, chuckling.

"I have to agree, Jack, this is too good to pass up! I'll go to my quarters and freshin up. I'll be right back," she told them as they arrived at the door to Daniel's room. He swiped his card and the two men went inside.

Immediately Jack threw up his hands and jumped around the room like a kid in a candy store.

"Did you hear her? She called me Jack...not once but twice!"

"Yes, Jack, that's your name," Daniel said, tossing his duffle bag on the bed as he turned away to hide his grin. Jack was just so easy, and Daniel loved egging him on.

"You know what I mean, Daniel, she never calls me Jack! Just sir. For eight years it was sir this and sir that, never Jack!"

Jack sat his bag down on the floor, realizing that he didn't really have a place to spend the night...or tomorrow night. He had been so nervous about spending time with Sam, that he had totally forgotten to make hotel reservations or ask Gen. Landry if he could stay on base! Oh, well, he'd work something out later. Right now all he wanted to do was spend time with Sam!

"Then I'd say that's a good sign, Jack," Daniel told a very excited Jack O'Neill.

Daniel began removing clothing from his bag and hanging it up in the armoire. He had a lot more clothing in his apartment in town, and these were just some things that he had taken to Egypt with him. He was glad he had kept his apartment, since he had no intention of living on base full time.

He really missed his books and the other things he had stored there too. Not having his own possessions with him was the biggest downside to living at a dig, but working the latest new site in the northern Nile delta had been well worth the inconvenience.

While Jack checked out his reflection in the bathroom mirror, Daniel brought his toiletries into the bathroom.

"You look good, Jack," Daniel told him, honestly impressed with how good the man looked for his age.

He left Jack there and walked out of the bathroom, going straight to the door when he heard a light rapping there.

"Do you think I should color my hair," he asked, calling out to Daniel in the next room.

Jack leaned toward the mirror and ran his fingers through the mostly gray strands. Suddenly he heard a familiar voice answer his question, but it wasn't Daniel's.

"If you do, I'll never speak to you again, Jack," Sam told him as she stood in the bathroom doorway.

"Sam! I was just kidding around, you know," he said, laughing nervously.

"No you weren't, and neither was I. Don't touch your hair, Jack. I love it just the way it is," she told him, coming to stand next to him, their shoulders touching. Jack looked in the mirror at their reflection, thinking how good they looked together.

Their eyes met in the mirror, and Sam smiled. He smiled back, a nervous thrill running up his spine. What was she thinking as she looked at him, he wondered? What did she see in him? She had just said she loved his hair. Did she like any of his other features as well?

He knew how he felt about her; her eyes were the blue of a star sapphire, and her hair was like spun gold. And those dimples that appeared when she smiled a certain way...well, those were just the cutest things!

She was tall like him, and when they stood face to face, he would barely have to bend down at all to kiss her on the lips. Jack knew that her lips were as soft as they looked. He had kissed her once, in a time loop which she didn't even remember. What would she think if he tried to kiss her now?

"Guys! I'm getting hungry!"

Daniel poked his head in the doorway and the spell was broken. Both Jack and Sam stuttered apologies to him, and then they all left together to go to their favorite steakhouse, O'Malley's.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

All through dinner Jack kept finding his eyes wandering to Sam's mouth...as she chewed her steak...as she sipped on the straw in her Diet Coke...as she smiled at something that he or Daniel said. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her mouth, and he couldn't keep his mind from imagining what her mouth would feel like around his...

"Jack! Jack, heeeloooo!" Jack suddenly realized that Daniel was talking to him and gesturing madly, and he had no idea what the man was saying, or how long he had been day-dreaming about Sam's mouth.

"What?"

"What? Is that all you can say, Jack? I just admit to you that I've missed us...missed the old SG-1 and ask you to come back and join us, and all you can say is 'what'! I think we both deserve more than that, Jack," Daniel insisted, looking very annoyed.

Jack saw Sam nodding her head, seemingly in agreement with what Daniel had been saying. Did Sam also want him to come back to the SGC?

"Daniel, while I'm flattered that you want me back at the SGC..."

"Not just back at the SGC, Jack...back on SG-1! Landry is pushing to get me back here for good, but it won't be the same without you," he urged, staring at him with sky blue eyes.

"And you agree? You'd like us to be a team again too," Jack asked Sam, the realization of what this would mean cutting him to the bone. If she wanted them to be a team again, then they wouldn't be able to pursue a personal relationship! Now this was just damned confusing!

"I have to admit, I do miss what we had," she told him, and his stomach suddenly felt queasy.

Sam looked at him with her big, sapphire eyes, and Jack felt like he was drowning in a sea of blue...the depths of which he would never escape. How could he let either of them down!

And yet if he did what they wanted, he and Sam would be back in that same old room...one where their true feelings were locked up tight. No, this just couldn't be happening!

"Daniel, right now Sam and I are just gonna leave. We need to talk," Jack said suddenly, pulling on her hand. She willingly slid out of the booth after him. "Thanks for the dinner, Danny! I'll be in touch," Jack shouted as he almost dragged Sam out of the restaurant.

Daniel just sat there with a startled expression on his face as he watched his two friends rush out the door.

Jack pulled Sam along by the hand until they stood beside his big, black truck. Then he twirled her about, till her back was against the side of the truck, pinning her body there with his.

"Sam, what the fuck is going on!"

"That's exactly what I'd like to know, Jack," she told him, and he looked even more confused.

"What do you mean," he asked. "I thought you wanted me...you know...me as in sex with me, and now you tell me you want SG-1 to get back together?"

"I do want you, but I also would love to see us as a team again," Sam admitted.

"So how is that supposed to work exactly," he asked angrily. "I fuck you whenever we're off-world, and then I have to keep it in my pants when we're back here on Earth," Jack fumed, his face inching closer to hers.

"Fuck me? How crude, Jack. I thought you were more eloquent than that," Sam stated, wondering again why his e-mails had sounded so unlike him. She was beginning to think something was going on all right!

Jack had totally forgotten about the messages he had sent her, because right now the closeness of her luscious body was driving him crazy with desire to do all kinds of things to her, and not stop till they were both screaming.

"Yeah, fuck you. Don't you want me to, Sam? I could do you right here...up against my truck...make you come...make you scream," he told her, rubbing his erection against her belly through the layers of their clothing.

"What I want is to know the real you, Jack O'Neill. But I have a feeling I really don't. Why do you seem so different in your e-mails?"

She put her hands flat on his chest and shoved hard, trying to push him away from her. But Jack was too far gone by now, wanting to satisfy the craving he had felt for her for so very long.

"No, Sam, you're not getting away from me now! I know you want me...you told me so!"

Jack held her firmly pinned to the truck, his hands beginning to pull frantically at her blouse.

"Stop it! Jack, stop this instant, or I'll never speak to you again," she warned, and the sound of anguish in her voice did make him stop.

"Stop this! Let me go, Jack. I can see now that you are not the man who wrote me those e-mails! If you truly respected me the way you said, you would never do this to me," she told him, tears glistening in her eyes.

"God, I'm sorry Sam. I really do respect you, honest I do," he said, letting go of her blouse and stepping away from her. Sam began to straighten her clothing and her hair.

"So how long have you known," he asked her.

"Known what?"

"That I didn't write those messages," he said, and her eyes opened wide as they zeroed in on his in the dimly lit parking lot.

"You didn't write those e-mails to me?"

Realization dawned on both of them at almost the same instant. Sam had not meant that he literally hadn't written the messages, but that was how he had interpreted her statement. And now he had just admitted that he hadn't written them!

Jack simply hung his head, no longer able to look her in the eye.

"If you didn't write them, then who did, Jack?"

Jack really didn't want to tell her. And while he was trying to decide what to say, he heard someone walk up behind him.

"So...you two all right," Daniel asked, surprised to see his two friends still in the parking lot.

"No, Daniel, we've not all right," Sam told him, her methodical brain suddenly coming up with an answer to her question. "Jack just told me about the e-mails," she said vaguely, deliberately giving the man enough rope to hang himself. He didn't disappoint her.

"Oh! About those, Sam. I can understand why you'd be upset, but I was just trying to help," he admitted, telling her exactly what she wanted to know.

"Ah, shit, Daniel..." Jack swung at the shocked man, who ducked just in time to avoid Jack's fist.

"That's what I thought," she admitted, turning quickly and stomping away from the two men.

They could kill each other, for all she cared. She wasn't going to stick around to watch or try and prevent it. She was glad she had come in her own car, because all she wanted to do right now was get the hell out of there!

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Both Jack and Daniel had just stood there in the parking lot, watching as Sam got into her car and drove away, rocks and dust flying into the air from the spinning tires of her car as she gunned the engine of the Volvo sedan.

Jack's anger at Daniel was quickly replaced by a feeling of immense regret ... regret that he had ever lied to her ... regret that he had ever gotten Daniel involved in this.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. I shouldn't have taken my frustration out of you," Jack told him, and Daniel put his eyeglasses back on after wiping them on the bottom of his shirt.

"It's okay, Jack. I shouldn't have agreed to help you, so we're both at fault here," he said.

"Come on, let's go back in and I'll let you buy me a drink." He smiled at his friend, hoping that Jack really had forgiven him for his part in this mess.

Daniel realized he could use a drink about now, and he bet Jack could too. The idea of Jack knocking his lights out had scared him more than any Goa'uld ever had!

"Okay," Jack agreed, and the two walked quietly to the door.

About two hours later, after several beers for Jack and two for Daniel, Jack offered to drive Daniel home. Daniel had his car, but he was in no shape to drive.

"Come on, Danny, me boy, let ole Jack take ya home. After all, you're the only friend I have now," he said, swaying slightly as he walked toward his truck.

"I don't know, Jack, you look pretty sloshed to me," Daniel slurred, as he stumbled along in Jack's footsteps.

"Nah, I'm fine Danny boy. You're much better off with me driven than you!"

So both men got into Jack's truck, and he started down the highway toward the base.

"Hey, I just membered something; I don't have a place to bunk tonight," Jack admitted.

"You can stay in my quarters ... if there's no room for you at the inn," he laughed, and Jack chuckled.

"Kay, but not in the same bed. Wouldn't want Sam to think I'm gay. Bad enough she thinks I'm vulgar and a liar!"

"You _are_ vulgar and a liar, Jack," Daniel said, ducking as Jack's arm swung out toward his head. Just then they both heard the familiar sound of a siren. Jack looked in his rear view mirror and took his foot off the gas.

"Great! This is all I fuckin need!"

"Just stay calm, Jack. You're a General for God's sake; you can talk your way out of this. Tell him you're hurrying to base because of some emergency," Daniel suggested, suddenly feeling very sober.

One hour and two phone calls later, Jack and Daniel pulled into the parking garage at the SGC. Jack had hated to phone General Hammond in the middle of the night, and General Landry hadn't been too pleased with Daniel either, but between the two of them, the officer had been convinced to allow them to go on their way.

"Landry said I can take any vacant room I want, so good-night Daniel," Jack said, picking up the leather tote bag he had left in Daniel's room. He had left the door of Daniel's quarters open and was about to leave.

"Okay. Good-night, Jack, and I'm glad you didn't get arrested," Daniel told him, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He hadn't even bothered to remove his shoes or eyeglasses, and Jack thought he looked like a little boy all tired from a day of play.

Jack put his bag down and went over to the bed. He removed Daniel's glasses and put them on the nightstand next to the bed. Then he bent down and untied Daniel's shoes and slipped them off, quietly setting them down on the floor.

Jack stepped out into the hallway and shut the door. He tried several doors on the same side of the hall and found them all locked. He knew that any unoccupied room would have the lock disengaged, but none of these did. So he tried the rooms on the other side of the hall until he found one unlocked.

Jack went inside and didn't even bother to turn on a lamp. All the rooms had an emergency light mounted high up on one wall. It provided just enough light to navigate by during the night or in case of a power outage. Jack dropped his tote bag on the floor near the wall. Then he took off all of his clothes, except for his boxers, and went to the bathroom. As soon as his head touched the pillow on the bed, he fell asleep.

Sam had spent most the last three hours trying to write a letter to Jack on her laptop. She had finally gone to the commissary to get some coffee, taking her computer along. But no matter how hard she tried, she just could not put into words everything that she was feeling.

She hated that he had lied to her. She also hated that he felt he needed to try and be someone other than who he really was! Had she really made him feel so insecure about himself?

When he had attacked her out in the parking lot, a part of her had wanted him not to stop. A part of her had wanted him to take her...right there...just the way he threatened to. Yes, if she were being honest with herself, she wanted him to make her scream! Yet another part of her feared losing control to any man in that way. What was wrong with her? Didn't she know her own mind?

_Sam, it's no wonder the poor man thinks he has to lie to you. You don't even know what you want, so how is he supposed to know_? She just shook her head as she walked down the empty corridor to her temporary quarters. She quietly opened the door to her room, and without turning on a light, removed her clothing and went into the bathroom.

She had been a little peeved earlier when the property clerk had told her that there was no key for her room yet, but she was so tired that locking the door seemed unimportant to her now. After all, it wasn't as though someone was going to sneak in and steal her valuables!

After washing her face and hands, Sam decided to crawl into bed in just her panties, too tired to bother with pajamas. Besides for some reason it seemed hotter than she remembered, and she wondered momentarily if the budget was under strict scrutiny again. Turning up the AC might lower the expenditures a little, but not enough to make a difference. She'd have to speak to the general about it in the morning.

Sam slid under the cool sheet. As she turned onto her side facing away from the bathroom door, her hand came down on the soft, warm skin of an adult, male arm.

Sam sat up, a screech of surprise strangled in her throat as she recognized the scent of the person in her bed. It was a smell that had tantalized and tortured her for years, off-world and on.

"Jack!" she cried, clutching the sheet to her chest.

"Hmmm? Wha…?" He sounded as though he was still asleep, and for the most part he was.

"Jack, what the hell are you doing in my bed?" she asked more loudly.

"Sam?" Jack sat up, trying to focus in the dim light. He didn't really need much light to see that blonde hair or that pale skin, both of which had been the subject of many dreams. But this seemed way too real to be just a dream.

"What are you doing in my bed?" she asked again.

"_Your_ bed? I didn't know it was your bed," he told her honestly. "Landry told me to take any unlocked room, and this was the first door I found that was unlocked," he explained, but he didn't make any effort to vacate Sam's bed.

"Well, this is _my_ room, Jack, so I think you should probably leave," she told him, feeling as uncertain as her words must have sounded.

"You think I _should probably_ leave? Or maybe I should stay, so I can do this." Jack's arms came around her, and they fell to the bed together as he pulled her body toward his. She let go of the sheet, his lips on hers causing her to forget why she was holding onto the sheet in the first place.

Jack's hands swept over her bare back, as hers explored his neck, his ears and his head, her nails scratching his scalp as her fingers dug into his silver hair. Jack tugged the sheet from between their bodies, wanting to feel her naked breasts pressing into his chest. Sam moaned into his mouth as she felt the scratchiness of his chest hairs teasing her sensitive nipples.

His tongue danced inside her mouth, skimming over teeth and gums before he thrust it toward her throat. She moaned and sucked hard on the firm appendage, as he pulled her even closer. Then Sam lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hip, opening herself to him.

Jack's long fingers found their way between her buttocks and into her moist heat from behind, and Sam groaned into his mouth as she felt his talented digits slipping in and out of her tight channel.

"Jack, I want you to do what you said earlier," she whispered in his ear.

"What was that, baby?"

"I want you to make me scream," she told him biting his earlobe and then sucking on his neck.

"Whatever you want, Sam," he said, pulling his fingers out of her. Sam moaned their loss, but soon she was groaning again as he pushed her onto her back and began kissing and nibbling on her breasts, sucking each pert nipple into his warm, wet mouth before letting it slip out with a little popping sound.

Slowly he worked his way down her body, leaving a trail of kisses on her warm, smooth skin, until he got to her moist curls.

"Do you like to be eaten, Sam?"

"What? OH! Oh, yeah, sure," she replied, blushing at his unexpected question. It surprised her and left her panting in expectation.

"Just tell me if I do anything you don't like, okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'll tell you. Just get busy," she told him impatiently, as she felt his warm breath tickle her clit. She wanted him to keep his promise of making her scream. Nothing else was important.

Jack chuckled at her eagerness, as he explored her sex with his tongue, licking her fluids as they ran down her lips and between her folds. Then he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked, and Sam's hips shot up off the bed, her voice rising in a crescendo of unintelligible sounds.

And soon, just as Jack had predicted, Sam was screaming his name and a few expletives that Jack was surprised to hear coming from the mouth of someone usually so proper. She had managed to wrap her legs around his shoulders and now she was squeezing his head between her thighs with the strength of three women. Somehow Jack extricated himself and slid up beside her, pulling her head down onto his chest.

Jack held her snugly for a few minutes, his big hands massaging her back while her breathing calmed. He brushed her hair off her face with his long fingers, tucking it behind her ear.

"I'm sorry I was such an idiot, Sam. I just wasn't sure you were willing to settle for an old flyboy like me."

"Old? You are _not_ old, Jack."

"Well, compared to you I am. And you're gorgeous and way smarter than me too," he told her.

"I'd have to agree with you about the smarter part...when you try a stupid stunt like the one you just pulled, Jack. How could you ask Daniel to do something like that?"

"I know I shouldn't have, but I just didn't know what to say to you or how to say it. I guess I thought someone as smart and special as you deserved better than me. I don't know a lot of things, Sam, but I do know one thing ... I love you. I have for a very long time," he told her as he held her to his chest.

Then he heard her sniff and realized she was crying. He held her at arms' length and searched her face in the dim light. He could see the tears glistening in her eyes and on her cheeks.

"What? Did I do something wrong ... again?"

"No, Jack. In fact I love everything you just said! And I never thought I'd hear you say the most important part ... that you love me," she explained, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"So ... happy tears? I didn't screw up again?"

"Yes, very happy, Jack. I love you too, you know? Now, as for the other part," she said, sliding her hand down over the rock-hard erection which was currently tenting his boxers. "Did you say something about screwing, Jack?"

"**Sweet**! I like a woman who knows what she wants," he told her as her shoved his shorts down and pushed them over his feet. Then he pushed her onto her back, fitting himself between her thighs. "Oh, by the way, Sam, I hope you know that I don't do this with all the girls; you're gonna have to make an honest man of me," he said, grinning like a fool as he brought his lips down to her neck.

He sounded like he was joking, but this was the only way he could bring himself to ask her what he truly wanted to know. Jack figured if she said 'no', he could always pretend he was just kidding.

"Fine! You move back here to Colorado, and I'll marry you," she said, and Jack looked up at her face, a shocked expression on his. He was resting on both elbows, his body poised over hers.

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

"I have already faxed the President my request for separation. So what say we get married as soon as my retirement papers come through?" He bent down and sucked a pert, pink nipple into his mouth, nervously waiting for Sam's answer. He didn't have long to wait.

"You're on," she agreed breathlessly. "Now get to it, Mister! I've agreed to marry you, and I haven't even tested the equipment yet," she said, lifting her pelvis to press against his erection.

Jack buried his face in Sam's neck, trying to keep from laughing. He was just so damned happy, and he couldn't believe this was really happening!

"Well?" she asked impatiently. "I don't have to get Daniel in here to substitute for you, do I, General?"

"No, M'am. The equipment is primed and ready," he told her, and then he pushed his long, thick staff into her slick heat. Sam grunted. "Is that what you had in mind?" he asked as he rotated his hips, seating himself even deeper.

"Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I had in mind," she assured him, her voice cracking with the intensity of her emotions. Jack began to thrust in and out, rubbing her in all the right places, and Sam's entire body shuddered with arousal and desire. She couldn't think of anything she wanted more. "There's nothing like the real thing," she crooned in his ear, as she wrapped her legs around Jack's waist, bringing her even closer to him.

"Accept no substitutes," he quipped, smiling.

The End


End file.
